Fuck

Fuck this shit i am done

this pain doesn’t seem to go

it keeps hurting and getting worst every time

everything was not made right for this to happen

its just ugly how things happened

loosing like this was not i wanted

there is nothing can be done

letting go is not easy even it look impossible

will this be my down fall

will i be normal again

if it has to go down like this then why all it happened?

then why it looked good?

why i am even like this?

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Neglect

So all falls now

The dreams, hopes, patience

The sad part is to beg someone to love me the way i love them.

Every thing has a story mine is just like another heart breaking.

The blame is mine i knew that this will happen and was happening and still i neglected it.

To stay more longer with her and hoping she will say to my face what she is doing like a brave heart.

It was my mistake not every person i connect with is like me.

Wafa is not easy it is in your soul if you have it you will stay loyal to the person at dying cost.

You were nothing special i believed in you that made you special i am not a writer not a poet.

I am a men with a volcano in my heart the lava is full of emotions.

You are a liar.

You have no soul.

And i neglected it.

Negative. 

Yes i am bad don’t you dare to come to me again, this time i will hurt you worst not to the skin of your’s but the heart with the tongue.

You asked me everytime what you deserve, I said better then what you have better then Me.

Now when i am not what you have right now I ask you what i deserve.

Dose i deserve to be fooled to be lied to be broken. No i don’t.

I am bad and i feel good to be bad. You brought me to this to the world of words where i can put my anger into sentences of agony.

I use to say things to my self and gets over your torture but now i will say it to you by not saying to your face.

I said i was fine but it always hurts me I prayed to the almighty to give me a person who is afraid to loose me.

Falling in love with someone who doesn’t know how to love you is the saddest thing can happen.

Is there anything that stays loyal forever? I asked myself.

Balatkaar

I was raped, Yes i was raped. I was raped for your pleasure. But what does pleasure means?

Ahh!! i enjoyed it…. Is pleasure? So you enjoyed when i was terrified? You enjoyed when i was begging you of mercy? You enjoyed when i was crying in front of you to let me go?…

Ok! Now what? You got your pleasure. What about my justice?

Ohh i asked so many questions na!!I can’t even ask my questions and you can have your pleasure of mine without my consent.

Why i am asking these questions? You know why?

Because when you were having your pleasure i was destroyed and strip of my possession.

I remember all what you did to me. I want to forget all everything but the pain in my body and your hands on me which left scars keeps telling me that i was raped for your pleasure.

Yes i was raped. I was raped for your pleasure.

………………………………………………………………

The most disgusting crime is to rape a child and the worst is to protect and defend the rapist.

Hang the rapist.

Lost feelings

The best feeling in the world when you smile to me, because i know for a second i crossed your mind. 

If you were to see yourself, the way i see you, you would fall in love with my eyes and never look away. 

I met you i wrote you i talked with you i loved you I paint my poetry with the colors of your thoughts. 

I knew her weakness and she knew mine   I said she was mine and  she smiled.  her giggles were adorable. 

Like home to her is 4 walls while to me her 2 arms But her love was virtual, mine was real our relation was like “A rose between the books”  DEAD

May be love and pain were synonyms,  I know how hard I’m working to gulp the harsh truth. 

In the game of ego and pain the truth was a showstopper. 

“Scars”Do they heal?  No they hide. 

Silence  isn’t a feeling, its the poetry of the heart, lost in translation. 

But she is just the girl i loved once that i get to save from her demons every night. 

Her

She believes in me 

I’ll never know what just  she sees in me. I told her some day if she was my girl I could change the world…. 

and who knows maybe on some special night, if my song is right, I will find a way. 

At times i am terrified by her ability to weaken me, she is deep like an ocean, it Excites and terrifies me at the same time 

How many hours i have spent reliving the one sided memories as that is all they ever be

She is a little madness and a lot of fun she wasn’t in love, she wasn’t a friend she was in between that ached everywhere 

The most beautiful words are always left unsaid